i have an ass

for many years i have been suffering from a medical condition known as noassatall syndrome, most commonly found in adult white males. i have been working out and am more active than i used to be and have noticed my body becoming more proportional. i am in the middle of restoring the hardwood floors in my house and while doing this i was laying on my stomach sanding and i could feel my booty shake a little, and since i can't see back there was my only indication that i have anything back there. sorry ladies, no photos, but i am available for your viewing pleasure 24/7

noone here gives a damn about soccer

on Saturday i went to the opera. that's right, not a typo, the opera. my friend Rachel had two tickets and her husband and sister couldn't go, so she invited me. it was called "the refuge" it was about people seeking refuge in Houston and making it there home. all the stories were true and the performers sang their actual words. it was very beautiful and i defiantly would go again. mike told me that his folks went and i asked his dad about it and he said compared to others that he'd seen it wasn't that great, and i figured that if i liked it as much as i did and it wasn't that great, I'd better get to the opera more often. so thanks, Rachel, for helping me to expand my horizons. and btw, this outing went much better then the last time rachel and i hung out.

more action than i've had in a long time.

Denise's birthday is this weekend, so me and mike took her to Sammy's to see her favorite band, the spazmatics, who have a new lead guitar player btw. after they had finished their show we were hanging out by the bar when a couple of guys started yelling at each other. their buddies were able to separate them so they didn't end up fighting, but the guy who was close to us at the bar was still upset until one of his friends told him that he knew the people who ran the club and had the other guy kicked out. well, dude was pretty excited and started running around cheering, then, i'm not sure why, but he grabbed me and asked if he could give me a kiss on the cheek. well, not being one to spoil the mood i told him sure, and he did. mike saw and asked what was going on and saw that the dude was just happy, gave him a hug too and bought him a shot. then on the way out mike gave me a smack in the ass. the man love was running rampant. of course i would have preferred these actions to have been perpetrated by women, but at this point, i'll take it where i can get it. happy birthday Denise.

celebrating 90 years of air power

our fighter squadron celebrated 90 years the other night, it was a very nice event. one of the more notable things that happened was that my dear friend Leah got engaged to her man christian, he proposed to her out in front of the jet we had painted especially for the event. i am very happy for them, i don't know christian that well, but he seems like he will take good care of her, and he'd better!
i had the pleasure of escorting a very pretty lady. as you can probably tell by my grin, i had a great time. a few of us went out dancing afterword and the d.j. at the second place we went to made a big deal out of us being in our uniforms. it was cool, and the ladies loved it
my dad dropped off his dog and my brothers dog at the house for the weekend, spike and little foot had a great time together, it was really hard for me to get them to hold still for this picture. i might not be impartial, but i think spike is cuter.

all in all, not a bad weekend

over worked and underpaid

i went into work last Saturday to catch up on some stuff before the inspection and since it wasn't an official duty day i wore jeans and brought spike with me. he had a great time running around and playing in the grass while i did my thing. not a bad day over all. that's all i have to say about that.

what happens in vegas...

my buddy joe bought me a round trip ticket to las vegas for my birthday, and put me up in his big house. it was awesome. we didn't really do anything typically vegas, just hung out, it was nice to get away and not have to care about work or anything. i didn't even call anyone cause i didn't want to here about any b.s. in fact, the highlight of my trip didn't have any thing to with anything in vegas. it was a great vacation, i'm so glad that i have such good friends. thanks joe. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

friendship is rare

i was listening to the radio a while back and they had a game where if you called a friend and told them that you needed $500 and that you couldn't tell them what it was for and that you probably wouldn't be able to pay them back, and if your friend said yes they sent you both to a concert. that got me thinking about my friends, and if they were that loyal. well i am pleased to report that they are, so i have compiled a list of things that i like about my friends, so here goes. you know your friends are loyal if...



they know all about your past, and they like you anyway.



they don't know your ex-wife, but they still think she's a bitch.



they'll help you push your cadillac into your garage in there suit pants.


they'll try to set you up with their other friends.


They stick up for you when you're not around.


they'll come see you at the car show, even if they could care less about the new shiney thing you added to your car.


they'll help you move.


they bring you cookies at 2 in the morning.


they'll tell you when you're messing up.

livin' the dream

i've been asking my supervisor to find out if i could take a picture of my car next to one of our jets for a year and a half and finnally on sunday i was able to do it. a friend of mine even brought her camera out and took a whole roll of film for me. the comander liked the idea so much that he's having his jet painted for our upcoming 90th aniversary and he's going to make sure it'a available for photo opportunities.

MY FIRST CAR

this is a picture a friend of mine snapped or my first car a '72 cadillac sedan deville. i loved that car, it didn't last me very long, she met a sad demise that we wont get into right now. as with all my cars everyone knew that car, even if they didn't know me. i named her shaniqua because she was big, black, and loud. this picture is also proof that my current car (a '95 caprice) is the smallest car iv'e ever had.

why am i a pimp

a friend of mine saw the picture of me and Bek at my reunion and i think he meant to say "why are you dressed like a pimp", but what he said was "why are you a pimp" and i said "why do birds fly?, why do stars twinkle?, they just do!" so there's no scientific explanation, it's just one of those things you have to take on faith, maybe someday in a top secret lab deep underground someone will discover the reason, but until then i don't think the world is ready anyway.

it's official, i'm old

my birthday was Friday and i decided to have a party on Saturday. we started out at the main event for a couple of hours of bowling and then some games after that. here's me and mike playing dance dance revolution. (i won)
then we went to papacitos for dinner, it was great.
they even sang happy birthday to me. after that we went back to my place and watched ghost rider and popped some popcorn. it was a fun day. i think the best part was that i got to blow out candles 3 times; the first time was at work, Rebekah brought me cupcakes with candles in them , and then she brought a cake for me to the bowling alley, and then again when they sang to me at the restaurant. i got alot of meaningful gifts too, it was alot of fun.

nora jones

while i was in the desert Mike told me that he was taking Denise to see Nora Jones when we got back. i thought that sounded like fun and after a few emails to Rebekah we were going too. she played at Jones hall, a perfect location for her, i don't think the show would have been as good if it had been somewhere else. it was totally worth dragging butt at work all day!

hot chocolate ass

a couple of years ago i had gone to my folks house to celebrate Christmas. my mom had gotten a small water cooler that dispensed hot and cold water, and she had a chocolate syrup pump next to it for making hot chocolate. after my brother and i tried it he said "this tastes like ass", and i said "yeah, hot ass", and he said "hot chocolate ass!" so, i was in Tommy's office and he was talking about how hot it was and he said "hot ass" and it reminded me of this story and i said , out loud, "hot chocolate ass" just as the new girl walked in behind me, oh yeah, did i mention that she's black? and she looked at me and said "who's hot chocolate ass?, my hot chocolate ass?" "you don't even know me and you're talking about my hot chocolate ass" eye witness accounts say that i was as red as a beet.

best week ever!

have you ever seen the show best week ever on vh1? they talk about famous people and how they had the best week ever. well, this is a chronicle of my best week ever!



the week started out great because i got home from Iraq. this is a picture of everyone enjoying a beverage in Ireland. it was fun for everyone to be able to relax and let their guard down.

then the next day the week got even better when i met my new niece Sukura. 8lbs 4oz. the nurses asked my sister why she waited until she was grown to have her. i might be biased but she is very cute. i got her a onesie that says "my uncle is cooler than yours".
Rebekah's birthday was on the first and i took it upon myself to decorate her office. she was so excited when she saw it she called me and woke me up to tell me about it, which made it all worth while.
Friday night i went with Mike, Denise, and there friend Marci went to see a band called the Spazmatics. they do 80's covers. they were so much fun.
while they were singing "Hey Mickey" they had all the girls get up on stage, here's Denise and Marci getting down.
i took Bek out to get her nails done for her birthday.
and i got mine done too.
after that we went to outback for dinner. there was a guy going around doing balloon animals and i had him make a flower for Rebekah, which she enjoyed.

on Tuesday i went to see Fergie! Rebekah got 2 tickets for upgrading her phone plan and her neighbor gave her the 2 that he got, but unfortunately she couldn't come...
so Marci came instead. someone made fun of me for going to see Fergie, then i showed them this picture and they stopped. i don't know when I'll see her again, but i had fun for the night.
i was also finally able to get the spokes put back on the wagon. i forgot the attention that those rims draw.
I'm turning 30 (the bog three oh) Friday and i got a popcorn maker so i can have folks over for movies that night.

so that's my best week ever, actually it was more than a week, but it was the best time in my life. i got to play with my cars and hang out with my friends and dance with pretty girls. and I've lost 20lbs in the last 2 months so i feel great too.

"Learning to walk" an essay

Apparently after almost 30 years of practice I still don't know how to walk. Now, I did have some setbacks as a kid; when I was born I was pigeon toed and I had to have corrective casts on my feet, so I got a late start, and because of this I have had weak ankles which has afforded me many an opportunity for crutches, which set back my walking practice schedule, or when I was in basic training and fractured 3 bones between both my feet I was forced to learn a modified walk which also set back my practice schedule. Still with all these setbacks I thought I had become quite good at walking, however, all my confidence was shattered yesterday as I walked back from the store. The walk started like any other, and then all of a sudden I was on the ground, in pain. My right food rolled under an wouldn't support my weight I went down and got road rash on my left shin and knee and scraped my left elbow as well. Was it dark out? You ask. Oh, no, it was the middle of the day. Well surely you were in a strange place, you think to yourself. Not at all, I was on a well trodden path which I have traveled many times. The only thing I can blame is my lack of practice, so I have decided that as soon as I am healed from my injuries well enough that they will not affect my form I will start a more rigorous training schedule, no longer will I ride when I can walk, I will take extra steps when at all possible. It's not going to be easy, but I know that with the love and support of my family and friends, I will be able to reach my goal of learning to walk by the time I'm 40.

greetings from iraq

for some reason this computer wont let me post a picture, so those will have to wait. well here i am for the second time, and i have to say, i'm not having as much fun as i did last time. now don't get me wrong, there's plenty yo do. we get attacked almost every day, this affords me many an opportunity to study the tile patterns on the floor, and if the attack is long enough i can catch up on my sleep, or if i'm lucky there might even be something for me to read down there. i have been going to the gym everyday for a couple of hours with my buddy mike, i haven't really noticed a difference yet, but hopefully by the time i get home i'll be able to keep working out by myself. i have also gotten really good at telling the difference between an acctuall explosion and a slamming door, or the trash truck adding to it's load, all usefull things to know. i have learned to appritiate my huge house with only me in it, although the guys i share a room with deffinately have interesting personalities, i still prefer my dogs. and walking, boy have i had some great chances to go for some long walks, and sometimes i even get to carry my body armor. so manny things to do, i sure am going to miss them when i get home. well, untill next time, watch your wing man, and watch your 6.

i have a celebrity in my house

i got spike a haircut so i wouldn't have to worry about him while i'm gone. he looks like a different dog, when i took him home it took butch a second to figure out who he was. he looks cute and she did a good job. i didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me. i think he looks like hugh jackman while he was in x-men. maybe now people will stop asking me how old she is.

WHEW!

if you read a recent post in bek's blog http://www.bekahbyrd.blogspot.com/ you'll notice that she redid bri's room for her birthday. although the pictures missed it one of the things that is different about her room is now it has a ceiling fan that was installed by yours truly. after installing that one i felt so good about my fan installing skills that i volunteered to put one in Elijah's room as well. unfortunately the one bek had for his room did not have a light kit on it, but fortunately i had just upgraded the fan in my living room and was willing to donate my old one to the cause and installed that one, so the other one went back into the garage. now, if you'll look further down in the same post on bek's blog you'll notice that she had sustained a head injury, when i asked her what happened i was told "a ceiling fan fell on me" ....OH NO, i almost killed my best friend, what if it had fallen on one of her kids? I'd never be able to live with myself, what have i done?!.... "which one?" i asked, very sheepishly with eyes the size of dinner plates. "the one in the garage" was her reply. RELIEF!! i almost had a heart attack, i already felt bad that i wasn't around to help when it happened. so just so everyone knows, i might not be available to install any fans for a little while. I'm glad Rebekah's okay.

i can

bek made a list of things she can do after being inspired by other bloggers, and i thought i'd try it and put my own twist on it

i can rebuild the suspension on an 80' suburban, but i can't get the damn thing roadworthy again
i can install a ceiling fan, but i can't run new wires for it

i can run 2 miles on 3 broken bones, but only if i'm doing it for someone else

i can tear up during a girly movie, but i can't let you see me

i can build a 2000lb low drag peniterator smart bomb, but i can't load it on a jet

i can repel 100 feet, but i'm afraid of heights

i can give my life defending freedom, but i don't want you to have to give yours

i can be independent, but i don't want to be

i have mad driving skills, but i can't drive a standard transmission

i can train my dogs, but i can't get spike to stop marking EVERYTHING

i can skip desert, but not today

i can play music, but only if it's on the radio

i can sleep anywhere, as long as it's in my bed

i can see the potential in customising a car, but not decorating a room

i can dance, but not really

i can forgive, but i can't forget

i can work on my car, but i can't stand it if i have to let someone else

pretty sure i'm going

i heard from the guy who's dad is sick today. they admitted him into the hospital today, so i'm going to go in his place. hopefully i'll be a little thinner and a little tanner when i get back. my little sister is due on the 28th of may, i should be back by then. other than that i guess i wont be missing much anyway. alot of my friends are there already, they told me that the facilities are nicer than last time, so i should have a good time.

maybe

well, it looks like i might be going again. one of our guys has a sick dad. there not sure what's wrong with him, there going to do more tests on tuesday and then he'll know for sure. in the mean time there going to outprocess me as if i was going. so i gess we'll see next week. but if i do end up going my sacrifice will be that much more worth while if i help him out.

maybe not

well, it looks like i might not be going after all, this will make change 4. i decided to chronicle any further changes as they happen because it is starting to get humorous. will keep everyone posted as events occur.

some people need some killin'

no, not leah. this is from the lunch we had for her. she's be deployed to "an undisclosed location in southeast asia" well, i just found out i'll be joining her. "killing is my business ladies, and business is good!" i have to go show the bad guys what's up. tell all the pretty girls not to worry, i'll be back soon.

poor spike

spike always looks so pathetic after he gets a bath, but he looks cute at the same time, so i thought i'd get a picture of him. he loves the camera, as soon as i pull it out he starts posing and trying to be cute. i think butch was jealous, he kept trying to get into the picture. my dogs are so good, they hate to get baths, but i just have to tell them and they'll hop right into the tub. they're nice to have around, they keep me from getting to lonely.

not so bad today

it's been over 2 years since my ex-wife left and it still hurts every day. a few weeks ago a good friend of mine asked me if i still thought about her and i said "every day". while i was going through the divorce a coworker that i look up to told me that besides the death of a loved one, this is the worst thing that would ever happen to me, he was right. do you ever get over something like this? can you give your whole heart to someone and still have some left to give someone else when they break it? i see others who have moved on and found love again, but it seems like i never will. the loneliness is consuming, even as i'm with other people i still feel lonely. my self image isn't very good either and i don't feel good enough for anyone. i told a friend that i was tired of being lonely and she asked what i was doing about it and i told her that i didn't know what to do and she said neither did she. i wish there was some formula that i could follow like; marriage years + divorce time = how long it takes to find love again, or something like that. at least then i'd know how long i had to wait. i know i have to be okay with myself before i can let someone else in, but i'm not, and i'm so tired of being lonely. it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. now it's like an old injury, like a broken ankle, mostly it doesn't hurt, but as soon as you try to use it you remember exactly why you haven't put any strain on it for a while. i know i have a long way to go, but i wouldn't have made it this far without family and friends to help me along. from "we don't like her" to a couple of offers to beat her up, and milk and cookies at 2am. i'm very grateful for the help i have received. you don't know who really loves you until something like this happens. i know some day i'll be needed again, but until then i have to just keep getting better, and at least now i know that with a little help from my family and friends, and the man upstairs, i'll make it.

Rebekah had everyone over for a Superbowl (am i going to get into trouble for using a trademark) party. i'm not really into sports (don't worry, I've already had a corner cut off my man card), but i had a good time anyway. there was alot of good food, and good company. i was at the store helping Rebekah by getting some supplies and an older lady asked me who i was going for in the big game and i told her it didn't matter because i don't like sports, and she asked what all the soda i was buying was for and i told her that a pretty girl was throwing a Superbowl party, and she said that sounded like a good reason to her.

on Saturday Rebekah and i went to the military ball that my dad and his cadets throw every year. we got to get dressed up and have dinner at a fancy restaurant. the place it was at is called braideys landing. it's on the ship channel, which is really odd for a place like that, but it was very nice. Rebekah got cold so i gave her my jacket and i thought she looked cute wearing my jacket and eating her dinner, so i took a picture of her. it was nice to go out and hold the door and pull out her chair and be a gentleman, and treat her like a lady, what Rebekah calls a "fake date", besides Rebekah's pretty good looking, so that was nice too.

on Friday i took the day off and went to my mom's house to help her with whatever she needed done around the house. after that i went with Leah and some of her friends from church out to dinner on kemah to a sea food place i'd never been to. the food was great and the company was even better. i had a great time. Leah ate half my dinner after eating all of hers. i weigh 3 times what she does and she can eat me under the table every time. after dinner we went to the American legion for mike's dad retirement party. i had a good time there too. Rebekah was there with her kids, and i got to meet alot of mike's family. i had to take a picture of Leah eating again, that girl can put it away!

i rearranged my living room a few days ago. I'm kind of proud of myself, so i thought i'd snap a picture. i think it looks good, and it really opens up the room. not bad for a single dude. butch wanted to help, but he doesn't have thumbs, so he just attacked the vacuum cleaner while it was on.

this is me and Rebekah at my 10 year high school reunion. i only went to that school for a year, so i didn't recognise to many people there, but it was still fun to get dressed up and go dancing. the one person that i did know there was my friend Amanda, she told me that when i walked in she had her back to me and someone said "who's that in the blue", and before she turned around she said "ANDY".

we finally had a brake from all this rain so i decided to give the blue a bath and she looked so good that i snapped a few picturesof her. i love working on my cars. acouple of years ago a girl in a minivan pushed me into the wall on the freeway and i ended up doing most of the repairs by myself. i got such a good deal on parts that i ended up only spending about 1/3 of the money the insurance company gave me, dad said i should do that for a living. unfortunately i just don't like working on other peoples cars as much as i like working on mine.

i've been getting very tired of my carpet. it is very uncomfortable, it doesn't look good, and it soaks up stains like a sponge, and with 2 dogs there are many spots. well, i finally pulled up the carpet in the hallway (i thought i'd start small) and lo and behold, i have hard wood floors. they are actually not in that bad of shape either. as soon as there's a nice sunny day and i can open the windows i'm going to try my hand at refinishing hard wood floors.

last halloween rebekah and the kids and i went to "boo on the boardwalk" on kemah. while we were there the girls wanted to go through the haunted house. elijah is way to young for that so i volunteered to watch him while rebekah took them. while we waited we got our caricature done. elijah had a great time and i think it came out pretty good. btw the girls ran out of the haunted house after the first room after waiting in line for an hour.

these are my buddies, butch and spike. butch is the best dog ever! any one who's been around him for more than a few minutes will agree. i brought him home with me from idaho where i was a missionary. if it weren't for him being such a good dog we wouldn't have 5 dogs between the family now. spike is a little more rambunctious than butch to put it mildly. he's just lucky he's cute. he's really friendly and kids love him. he's my wing man at the car shows. people always think he's a girl though, when someone askes "what's her name?" i always say "HIS name is spike, and he's a badass". don't let him catch you touching my car. i put a spiked collar on him to help him look tuff, but you can't really see it through all his hair.

that's right ladies, he's single!

with family and friends spread out so far i thought this would be a fun way to keep up with each other.