maybe not

well, it looks like i might not be going after all, this will make change 4. i decided to chronicle any further changes as they happen because it is starting to get humorous. will keep everyone posted as events occur.

some people need some killin'

no, not leah. this is from the lunch we had for her. she's be deployed to "an undisclosed location in southeast asia" well, i just found out i'll be joining her. "killing is my business ladies, and business is good!" i have to go show the bad guys what's up. tell all the pretty girls not to worry, i'll be back soon.

poor spike

spike always looks so pathetic after he gets a bath, but he looks cute at the same time, so i thought i'd get a picture of him. he loves the camera, as soon as i pull it out he starts posing and trying to be cute. i think butch was jealous, he kept trying to get into the picture. my dogs are so good, they hate to get baths, but i just have to tell them and they'll hop right into the tub. they're nice to have around, they keep me from getting to lonely.

not so bad today

it's been over 2 years since my ex-wife left and it still hurts every day. a few weeks ago a good friend of mine asked me if i still thought about her and i said "every day". while i was going through the divorce a coworker that i look up to told me that besides the death of a loved one, this is the worst thing that would ever happen to me, he was right. do you ever get over something like this? can you give your whole heart to someone and still have some left to give someone else when they break it? i see others who have moved on and found love again, but it seems like i never will. the loneliness is consuming, even as i'm with other people i still feel lonely. my self image isn't very good either and i don't feel good enough for anyone. i told a friend that i was tired of being lonely and she asked what i was doing about it and i told her that i didn't know what to do and she said neither did she. i wish there was some formula that i could follow like; marriage years + divorce time = how long it takes to find love again, or something like that. at least then i'd know how long i had to wait. i know i have to be okay with myself before i can let someone else in, but i'm not, and i'm so tired of being lonely. it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. now it's like an old injury, like a broken ankle, mostly it doesn't hurt, but as soon as you try to use it you remember exactly why you haven't put any strain on it for a while. i know i have a long way to go, but i wouldn't have made it this far without family and friends to help me along. from "we don't like her" to a couple of offers to beat her up, and milk and cookies at 2am. i'm very grateful for the help i have received. you don't know who really loves you until something like this happens. i know some day i'll be needed again, but until then i have to just keep getting better, and at least now i know that with a little help from my family and friends, and the man upstairs, i'll make it.

Rebekah had everyone over for a Superbowl (am i going to get into trouble for using a trademark) party. i'm not really into sports (don't worry, I've already had a corner cut off my man card), but i had a good time anyway. there was alot of good food, and good company. i was at the store helping Rebekah by getting some supplies and an older lady asked me who i was going for in the big game and i told her it didn't matter because i don't like sports, and she asked what all the soda i was buying was for and i told her that a pretty girl was throwing a Superbowl party, and she said that sounded like a good reason to her.

on Saturday Rebekah and i went to the military ball that my dad and his cadets throw every year. we got to get dressed up and have dinner at a fancy restaurant. the place it was at is called braideys landing. it's on the ship channel, which is really odd for a place like that, but it was very nice. Rebekah got cold so i gave her my jacket and i thought she looked cute wearing my jacket and eating her dinner, so i took a picture of her. it was nice to go out and hold the door and pull out her chair and be a gentleman, and treat her like a lady, what Rebekah calls a "fake date", besides Rebekah's pretty good looking, so that was nice too.

on Friday i took the day off and went to my mom's house to help her with whatever she needed done around the house. after that i went with Leah and some of her friends from church out to dinner on kemah to a sea food place i'd never been to. the food was great and the company was even better. i had a great time. Leah ate half my dinner after eating all of hers. i weigh 3 times what she does and she can eat me under the table every time. after dinner we went to the American legion for mike's dad retirement party. i had a good time there too. Rebekah was there with her kids, and i got to meet alot of mike's family. i had to take a picture of Leah eating again, that girl can put it away!

i rearranged my living room a few days ago. I'm kind of proud of myself, so i thought i'd snap a picture. i think it looks good, and it really opens up the room. not bad for a single dude. butch wanted to help, but he doesn't have thumbs, so he just attacked the vacuum cleaner while it was on.

this is me and Rebekah at my 10 year high school reunion. i only went to that school for a year, so i didn't recognise to many people there, but it was still fun to get dressed up and go dancing. the one person that i did know there was my friend Amanda, she told me that when i walked in she had her back to me and someone said "who's that in the blue", and before she turned around she said "ANDY".